I have a pregnant friend, we go for walks quite often and chat about this and that as we go. She’s 24 weeks now and is looking absolutely amazing, she has a 13 months old son as well – so for her second baby, she’s a model mom! We were puffing our way up a hill one chilly afternoon, when we got talking about the sex of her baby, and how exciting it has been to find out that it’s a boy again. The first time she didn’t find out – and she reckons knowing has a lot of positives.
Then she told me about the things people have been saying to her, when they ask her if she knows what she’s having this time. When she replies ‘a boy’ – various comments were passed.
“Ah shame, you’re not going to have a pigeon pair, you’ll just have to try again for your girl” or “Two boys, weren’t you hoping for a girl” or “Two boys are going to be such a handful, especially both being so young”. WOW, I mean WOW. Really people?
There are few things that I’m as passionate about as being a mother, having been pregnant, and struggling for almost two years to fall pregnant. So when people say things like that – I just want to slap them.
Firstly, falling pregnant so soon after having a baby is a flipping miracle in itself – the fact that it just happened so easily, so unplanned, is amazing, and not very common nowadays.
Secondly, the fact that she is growing another life is also a miracle – be it a boy or a girl – you cannot CHOOSE these things. You get what you get – and should feel blessed no matter what it is.
Thirdly, can you imagine if someone said those things to you – how hurt you’d probably be.
Whether you find out or don’t – it really doesn’t matter what sex child you have, he or she chose you, and knowing that you had absolutely no control over that process is the best gift you could ever ask for.
I didn’t find out what I was having, and when I saw she was a girl, I was absolutely over-joyed. Had she been a boy, it would have been the exact same response.
Many people are starting to ask me when we’re planning number two – if only these things could be planned. Little do they know we’ve been hoping for months now, and nothing. I have a long journey ahead of me again, so to all of you in the same boat, keep your head up, keep persevering, because becoming a mother is the best thing that has ever happened to me. To become a mom for a second time, is something I hope for every day.
Keep it real
N
