It has taken me a while to write the follow up to Baby Travels – Part 1 because it was such a horrible experience that I really wouldn’t want anyone else to experience – ever.
I sound a bit dramatic, I know, but for me, it rates up there as an incredibly negative part of our holiday, but definitely something worth sharing.
We arrived at Heathrow in good time to fly home on Virgin Atlantic. Three and a half hours to be exact. Everything was going smoothly until the bag x-ray machine part. We had three backpacks – laden to the max and packed very carefully to ensure everything we would need on the plane would fit in, from formula, to baby food, to a flask with hot water to 17 changes of clothing for Lexi – not to mention my handbag and the stroller. Spen often refers to himself as packhorse James – he wasn’t kidding this time.
Four bags (and the stroller) had to go through the machine – and BAM – stop, stop, stop AND stop – all four bags were put aside for searching. So was I as I beeped when I walked through. One full body search later (cavities excluded) – I had to wait for a nice Indian man to go to the loo and wash his hands before he’d proceed to search every pocket of every bag of ours – there’s nothing you can do about it except wait patiently – and try not look guilty. This was after three of them argued for 15 minutes about who would have to do the search.
Once agreed, the process began. OMG – and for all you parents out there travelling with a baby – READ THIS PART – I had to taste EVERYTHING we had packed for Lexi. The water, the baby food in sealed containers, the baby food in unsealed containers, the formula, the rice cakes – you name it. Some guy standing next to us pipes us – "shame what if it’s poisoned", to which the searcher replied – "well at least she dies and not everyone on the plane"! I MEAN REALLY!
This went on for about 45 minutes – and the angst on Spen’s face as his duty free shopping time was slowly dwindling before his eyes was highly apparent. We finally passed the scan test - poison, chemical and bomb free – and hurried our way over to the shopping mecca that is Heathrow Duty free – only to be greeted by a wall of people. Thursday must clearly be the busiest night to travel at Heathrow, we couldn’t move and felt like sardines packed into a can. Shopping trip fail! But on the brighter side we saved money I guess.
Our boarding call arrived – and we were off – holding thumbs that this leg of the journey would be highly uneventful and we could make up for the horrible experience on the way over. Sigh - no such luck! Back in the bulk head seats, but this time a different plane. The two seats next to me were initially unoccupied – and i almost thought we’d be lucky enough to have them free again for the trip home. Again – no such luck. And who should arrive – but the largest, smelliest, woman and her 18 month old daughter – neither who had flown before! Save me now! I looked at Spen and he started laughing – this laughing bout ended very quickly. Here’s why.
Said child of hers started screaming,I’m not talking the kind when you can still hear yourself talking, I’m talking the kind where the air hostess had to ask if everything was ok – the doors to the plane hadn’t even closed yet.
Babies have to be strapped to a parent for take off, turbulence, and landing. This did not sit with with that kid – who clearly has never been disciplined or restrained for any amount of time – IN HER LIFE.
Screeching and wriggling ensued - this kid was doing everything in her power not to sit on her mom’s lap, while her mom was doing everything in her power to ignore the situation. She even tried lunging off her mother at one stage – who didn’t quite fit into the seat in the first place – and the now hostile air hostess was in panic mode as the plane hit the gas – but chose to ignore the situation.
Thank G-d the seat belt light eventually went off and the kid was free. She was like the bloody energizer bunny – and kept disappearing. Her mother did nothing about it. Initially we exchanged polite pleasantries, but after half an hour i too became somewhat hostile – made dagger stares at the kid every time it returned.
It’s at this point that I turned to see why the yelling had stopped, only to see her mother had whipped out the largest boob I have ever seen and proceeded to shove it in the kid's mouth – the kid was standing having dinner – well i thought that was dinner – and anything to shut her up right?
No such luck on the dinner thing – out popped a can of sour cream and onion Pringles! Yes everyone, Pringles, the chip kind! Oh – here’s the best part – and a bottle of Coke! Not diluted, the real deal! She was in heaven, I was quietly dying in anticipation of the aftermath of the coke and chip onslaught to an 18 month old child. To add insult to injury, her ‘mother’ then gave her a Pepsi as well – and waited for the adverse chemical reaction to take place. It was this point that I turned to the mother and said – i really don’t think Coke at 22:30 is a good idea – for anyone! There was no reply from the ‘mother’.
It didn’t take long for the effects of her highly nutritious meal to kick in – the screaming began, the bunny was revived and off she went. I’ve never seen anything like it. Parents – please please please don’t give your children Coke – ever! let alone in a confined aeroplane with 250 other people who have to endure the adverse reaction. This poor kid bounced off the walls for three hours – every time Spen, Lexi or I nodded off, she’d check in for a boob feed, a screaming fit or another slug of Coke and she was off screaming on the other end of the plane.
She finally passed out from sheer exhaustion at 2:45 am – it was excruciating, and made me realise that parenting, no matter where or who you are in the world, has certain ground rules and should follow some form of common sense – sure I have never been a parent before Lexi, but i sure as hell know what not to give a kid on a plane – or anywhere for that matter.
But, I leave you with this – don’t judge a person until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes – did I get to know this mother who I now think is the worst mother in the world? No, Did i bother to? No – should I have? Probably yes. Then, just maybe, I would be able to understand why she treats her child the way she does – and possibly even be able to give her someParenting101 advice – not that I’m an expert, but at least I know the basics. At least I know for next time.
Keep it real!
N
No comments:
Post a Comment